Amor Fati

Fianna (Irish Gaelic): Bands of young warriors
Check out this link for sure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObzQOztMaZ4
If it does not work, go to
Youtube.com
then type "Planet Earth" into the search box and click on the first option that pops up.
Our Earth is so magical, so beautiful.
Family, it almost, okie yes....it does bring me to tears. Our earth is so fragile in the same way like a woman is. I feel and empathize with this woman, our great mother. I cry with her, she is being raped and ravaged of her beauty.
We must act.

This past week has been amazing for me. 70 hours of work/life and I couldn't feel any more awake. We had ATA (advanced training academy) at City Year. We did several intense workshops, my favorite by far was the inclusivity line. So many people think of diversity in terms of race, but like you and i know...diversity blooms from the content of an individuals character. We had done many workshops focused on m&m diversity (that of color/race) this time we did it based on content.
The exercise set a group of 150 people on side of a line running across the room. (City Year is by the way one of the most diverse groups you will ever come across in America.) The facilitator asked maybe 100 questions like....
Do you feel you lived a difficult life growing up, do you consider your family wealthy, Do you accept jesus christ as your savior, are you atheist or agnostic, have you been raped, have you forced yourself on another person sexually, have you been arrested, were you adopted, do you believe the community at city year is real, do you consider yourself attractive, would you like to loose ten pounds, have you considered suicide, are you a survivor of suicide.....
When each question was asked people would either step over the line if the statment was true for them or they would remain behind the line if it wasn't. People fell on a perpendicular spectrum (if it was very true for them they went beyond the wall and perhaps all the way to the wall, or not true and to the wall on the otherside of the room)
When people found their place we looked each other in the eyes and moved back behind the line for the next question.
I couldn't believe how many women had been raped, how many people drove drunk in their cars, accepted jesus as their savior, and the number of people that were survivors of suicide....
It brought me to tears, everyone was so incredibly honest.
We had a discussion after the exercise about our reactions. I stood up and expressed my feelings, tears flowing from my eyes, unable to catch my voice drowning in the sorrow, suffering and pain. A girl said, "take your time, you got it"
I found my voice, tears flowing...that voice so weak yet so strong.
"This exercise reiterates how much pain , suffering and sadness their is in the world...everyone is suffering everyone is feeling pain in one way or another, it just reminds me the incredible importance of being kind to one another."
I felt so sorry that I may have unintentionally given someone a bad look, or said an unkind thing. Life is too short to hatred and negativity. We must spread love and kindness, there is no going wrong as long as we are kind in our hearts and in our actions.
So many people came up to me after and expressed their appreciation for what I said. They heard my voice.
One guy, he is new to City Year, he will only be doing half of the year and he was ironically placed on my team. He is such an amazing person. He came up to me and said, "you have it, you have got it, you are going to do something for this world...."

I feel scared family. I feel scared of my name. I was browsing the dictionary the other day and this is what I discovered with little effort
Iris: greek goddess of the rainbow, messenger of the Gods
Jean: related to jene or gene: to give birth
Elyse: Elysium: Elysian fields, place of condition of ideal happiness, blissful, delightful
Garth: garden or paddock, comes from gher: to grasp, enclose, garden, shelter, house
waite: comes from waiter: to wait, watch and can be related to waiter as in to serve.

I am to give birth to the messages of God to create a garden of bliss.
I could run to my bed and dream wonderful or frightful dreams of this truth or I could live and breathe with it moment of my life. I am not dreaming when strangers and family alike look me in the eye and tell me I am going to create a better world.

I have the dictionary in front of me right now. Ever since I was a little girl I would do this. "randomly" select a page and "random" chose a word with my finger ultimately knowing that fate was guiding me all along.
I just did it. I closed my eyes. Felt the heart beating in my body and resonating speaking whispers to my soul. This word will describe my destiny. It is is fate's hands, yet it is in my hands, my hands are this dictionary, I am this dictionary. My hand surrenders to my heart, my finger follows.....
task: 1. A piece of work assigned or done as part of ones duties. 2. A difficult or tedious undertaking. 3. a function to be preformed, an objective. originates from tax.

Our dad told me a secret, "Iris, hunny, I am going to tell you a secret...You must not tell anyone,
In life, remember that your two feet face forward."

My heart beats in all directions, my soul shines beyond physical limitations, and my feet, my feet face forward.

I love you guys so much. I know we can make this journey together. Our world needs us. Our fragile mother needs kindness and love to flow like a river from her heart and wash over the surface of our world to heal her scarred surface.

I am not sure what the future holds, but I am certain that if I follow my heart...I will reach the place of intention.
I send love upon the wings of the butterflies soaring between us,
Iris